moda vivendi

I'm just talking to myself. We do that sometimes, me and myself.

“You’re single because you can’t caramelize onions.”


Very few things strike me as being a “too low blow.”  This weekend, however, Victoria’s husband hit where it really hurt.  While sitting around at Affogato, someone asked if you need to add sugar when caramelizing onions.  I say no.  AC (Vic’s husband) says yes.  He says that  adding sugar makes them sweet and that without sugar, you’re just going to get fried onions.  Long story short, we got into a heated discussion.  And then he threw that little gem my way.

Now, to work at (or even patronize) Affogato, you have to put up with a lot.  I’m regularly made fun of for my height, the crazy stories about my other job, my luck (or lackthereof) with guys…it’s all fair game.  And it usually doesn’t bother me.  Not even when someone told me he’s seen better legs on a pool table.  Good thing I don’t have a complex about my body or anything.

But when AC looked at me and said that I was single because I can’t property caramelize onions…..that was it.  NO one calls into question my culinary expertise.

So, once and for all…you put oil (or you can Julia Child the crap out of it and use butter.. I prefer butter) into a pan.  Let it heat up.  Toss in the onions on medium-low heat.  And watch them like a hawk.  Keep them moving and sure enough, the NATUAL SUGARS in the vegetable will be released, the edges will get nice and golden, and the centers will be translucent, all without the addition of MORE sugar.  Sheesh.


Author: Angelica Ross

Coffee addict, Post-It aficionado, Sharpie fanatic. I live and work in Pittsburgh, pin lots of recipes I'll never make, and I love the Oxford comma. Sometimes I write about advertising, other times I write about general life happenings; no matter what, I always try to entertain.

2 thoughts on ““You’re single because you can’t caramelize onions.”

  1. Pingback: Pie…n’at? « moda vivendi

  2. Pingback: Pie...n'at? - syntaxx errorrr

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