moda vivendi

I'm just talking to myself. We do that sometimes, me and myself.

Let me tell you about yourself

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Lately, people have been really good at trying my patience.  I’m a Scorpio, (or maybe I just take after my mother..either way) I don’t have much patience to begin with.  Don’t make me bust out a ghett0 finger-wave and a “Let me tell you about yourself.”

I was first exposed to this useful phrase courtesy of my father’s significant other.  I think she was talking about someone she works with, but this sentence can be applied to many situations:

  • The waitress who acts like she’s doing you a favor by bringing you another lemon wedge–well there goes your tip
  • The annoying roommate–stop trying to defend yourself and just say “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again”
  • The person in class who’s talking over the professor–oh, pardon me, are we interrupting your time? I’m paying to be here and learn about Milton, not your date last night

It sounds mean, but really, some people need to be told about themselves.  They just don’t realize that they’re acting like a toddler.  Some people need others to act as a mirror and reflect themselves back to them.

So let me tell you about yourself:

You’re loud, you’re obnoxious, you don’t realize when you go too far and offend people with your “jokes,” you can’t take people making jokes to you, you use people, you’re really not that pretty, you’re not fooling anybody, you should stop defending yourself when you know you’re wrong, you might want to try acting your age, you’re not the only person in the universe, you’re being a hypocrite, you might want to try considering other people for once…

I’m sure you thought of a few people when you read that, right?  That’s just an example of a “LMTYAY” rant.  It can go on and on, preferably with a sarcastic and/or mocking tone, specific examples about what they do or what they’re like, and some ghetto-inspiried head-bobs and finger-waves, just to get into the right frame of mind.

Now, don’t you feel better?


Author: Angelica Ross

Coffee addict, Post-It aficionado, Sharpie fanatic. I live and work in Pittsburgh, pin lots of recipes I'll never make, and I love the Oxford comma. Sometimes I write about advertising, other times I write about general life happenings; no matter what, I always try to entertain.

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