The following is an incomplete and totally biased list of the three types of women one encounters at the gym in the evening. I have yet to discover the types of women who go to the gym in the morning. I suspect they’re stay-at-home moms who think they’re the best looking thing since sliced bread but actually are quite scary.
- The woman who is there checking out the other guys and thinks that she doesn’t really need to try. She doesn’t sweat. She doesn’t even pull her hair up out of her face. What’s more, she usually has her hair straightened and a hair band would just put a kink in it and ruin her hard work. Typically, this woman (“girl” would be a more accurate descriptor) wears a tight, stomach-revealing shirt and loose basketball shorts that have been rolled down to maximize the viewing of her stomach. Occasionally, you’ll see the hint of a hip tattoo or a tramp stamp. Lastly, she walks like a duck. You know, she kinda saunters around with her chest and butt pushed out to enhance the view.
- The woman who made a New Year’s Resolution to lose those last, pesky 15 pounds and/or go to the gym after work every evening. This woman tries. She wears baggy shirts and cropped yoga pants. Her hair is pulled off her face (or, as pulled off as it can get as she typically has an inverted-bob hairstyle) and she has a book with her. She alternates between reading while walking on the treadmill or watching the TV mounted to the elliptical in front of her. While I admire her tenacity, her resolve will eventually peter out around mid-February.
- The woman who wears leggings as pants. Sometimes, she coincides with the woman who is there checking out the other guys and thinks that she doesn’t really need to try. The distinction is the fabric her pants are made out of. If her pants are of the shiny, Under Armour variety, she’s a serious gym-er. If they’re cotton and therefore true leggings, she’s just pretending. I digress. This woman runs at a level 10 on the treadmill and her legs are a blur. She doesn’t bother with frills, like a TV or an iPod. She just runs for 100 hours straight. And she sticks to her routine. Furthermore, she is not afraid to sweat and she usually is prepared with a towel to mop up after herself.
And then there’s me. I’m kind of a hybrid.