moda vivendi

I'm just talking to myself. We do that sometimes, me and myself.

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Diners, drive-ins and botched orders

The morning started innocently enough.  After a few scares of “food panic,” that anxiety that sets in when the waiter comes by and asks if you are ready and you’re not, but also don’t want to send him away for fear that it’ll be an hour before he’s seen again, our three-top had most of our orders all figured out.  I wanted a veggie omelet, but four egg omelet featured on the menu was a bit excessive, even for me.  The waiter assured me he make a supposed-to-be-four-egg omelet with two eggs.  “We actually do have a two-egg omelet,” he said and pointed to the “Two Egg Cheese Omelet with Hash Browns and Toast.”  Perfect.  I said that I wanted that, but with veggies.  “No cheese?” he asked.  And cheese, yes.  That should have been our first clue that something was amiss.  I take it back, the first clue should have been that he was a fledgeling waiter and actually our second server of the morning.

When the last-to-order person placed her last-to-order order, it included, but was not limited to, toast.  “How would you like that?” asked the waiter, like it was a 64-ounce steak that’s on the menu on Wednesday nights.  Medium?  Rare?  It took a while for her to find an answer, which is impressive in itself, as she usually is able to fire off something catchy instantaneously.  That, my friends, should have been the second clue.  We ribbed the waiter a bit, all in good humor, and settled down to drink our coffee and tea.

Finally, a parade of servers marched down the aisle to our table, each brandishing plates enough to feed a circus.  My delivery person sat down… a cheese omelet, with toast, and corn.  Corn?  What?  I seemed to be missing my hash browns and the veggies that were supposed to be inside the omelet.  I really don’t like making a fuss.  If I get carrots instead of broccoli at a restaurant, I just accept that maybe I need more beta carotene in my diet.  But I really wanted a veggie omelet and hash browns.  “I’m sorry,”our server simply said, and began to walk away.  He then reconsidered, came back, and asked, “Do you just want a new omelet?”  Thankfully, a seasoned waitress (our original server of the day), and one person our of our group, intervened.  The solution was simple enough: just bring the veggies that were supposed to be inside the omelet the whole time.  And the plate of hash browns that, according to our server, were sitting in the pass.  The poor guy couldn’t figure out where they were supposed to go.


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Five things I’m thankful for today

1. Seeing an okra blossom this morning.  Unusual, I know.  But have you ever seen an okra blossom?  The picture doesn’t do it justice.  It’s the softest yellow color with the most vibrant ruby ring right in the center.  Mother Nature, you know how to make them.

2. Coffee. And rain.  Aren’t you just absolutely shocked to read that one?  Right now I am sitting on the porch at my favorite coffee shop (sadly, not Affogato in peace, old regular place) and it is raining and there is a breeze and it’s all so poetic and perfect for writing.  What is it about coffee and rain that are so conducive to writing?  I do believe I have a best seller in me somewhere in the style of Thoreau or Wilde.

3. This guy.  Dogs may stereotypically be man’s best friend, but look at that face.  How can a girl not fall in love with him.  I’m dog-sitting for the week and every night, like clockwork, we go for a walk (well, he takes me for a walk; the little fella can pull!) and then come home and have a raw hide, for him, and a dish of ice cream, for me.  It’s possibly the best relationship I have ever had.

4. Homemade cookies.  I don’t have a picture of them because I haven’t actually made cookies in a surprisingly long time, but that doesn’t cancel out the fact that they are delicious and definitely one of the better things in life!

5. World peace?  New exciting things, like meeting new people and going on new adventures.  I would willingly be hurt 9 times if it means I get to experience that “new relationship” feeling just one more time.  It really is one of the best feelings in the world (the new, exciting one, not the curl-in-a-ball-from-emtional-pain one).

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Manager of Lightbulb Moments

One day, I want that to be my job title.  Manager of Lightbulb Moments.  There could be worse things to call myself and aspire to.  According Rupal Parkeh in his Ad Age article, “Confirmed: Marketing, Digital Advertising Boasts Weirdest Job Titles,” there are many people in the digital arena calling themselves “Marketing Rockstars,” “Dream Alchemists,” and “Digital Overlords.”  Granted, that does sound a lot better than “Account Executive” and “Website Manager.”

In a world where there is already so much competition and similarities among resumes, we do need something to make ours stand out from the pack.  If a fabricated, “Fancier Than Thou” title is what does it, then so be it.  But that just means it’s going to be the next thing that we need to one-up everyone else with.  Just recently, I was turned down for an internship in lieu of another candidate who went to the same school as I did, took the same classes, graduated at the same time, and lives in the same city, yet probably was savvy enough to amp up her resume with snappy titles.  I can see future employers everywhere thinking, “Forget relevant skills and job experience, that person calls himself a Conversation Architect, not to be confused with a plain old Digital Marketing Manager.  Clearly he’s the better candidate for the position.”  Kudos to them, though.  Clearly, they figured out the rules to the game and adjusted quicker than me.  It’s a Darwinist world and we’re just trying to work in it.

As for me, I’m going to revamp my resume with fancy names for the positions held.  And here I thought adding “coordinator” to my receptionist job was classing it up.  Instead of “Note Taker, I’m going to call myself a “Conversation Converter.”  “Intern” will now be “Caffeine Purveyor,” not to be confused with “Barista.”

So now, instead of aspiring to be a simple copywriter, I will work for the day that I get to add “Manager of Lightbulb Moments” to the lineup.  It really does give it a little something extra, don’tcha think?


18 things I want

I was inspired by this gem I found on Thought Catalog while at work browsing the internet the other day and knew I’d have to steal the idea.  So, I give you The List.  (Some of these are my own creation, others I liked so much from TC that I borrowed them, as noted with a *).

  1. Unlimited coffee*
  2. A dog that is exactly like Snoopy, who turns into Joe Cool and a Flying Ace, but then also who tells me about it, not just communicates with his bird-friend in thought bubbles and dashes.
  3. A 60s-inspired mod dress in the style of Suzy Bishop in “Moonrise Kingdom,” as it will make Halloween a lot less stressful once I know I have the right outfit.
  4. A Shazam app for smells*
  5. A white duck named Bob.
  6. Season tickets for the Pens.  Or partial season tickets.  Or just going to a few games this season.  Y’all know how excited I get, even if it’s just preseason.
  7. To feel like it’s okay to skip a workout and not have my body rebel against me.
  8. A job that I like.  Preferably a career that I like.  Shouldn’t we have the right to say, “This is what I want my life to be like, and I don’t want to be hiding under the covers every morning a la Bridget Jones, panicked and chain-smoking because it’s Monday and the work-day is approaching.”
  9. A partner.  Not someone who is better than me (so that I’m always trying to impress them) or worse than me (so I get complacent and think that they’ll never leave), but an equal.
  10. Ctrl + F (or Command + F because I’m a Mac nerd now) for my car keys*
  11. An arsenal of high heeled shoes that are cute AND comfy.  (Michael Kors knows his stuff, though, so this is on the way to being checked off.)
  12. Unlimited access to any book, any time.  (Like a nook, but for those days when I leave mine at home.)
  13. A TV crew to follow me around for a day.  Andy Warhol said that everyone should get their 15 minutes.
  14. To see friends who don’t leave near to me on a regular basis.  Same for family.
  15. Access to a beach.  Can we just blow up Jersey already?
  16. A back-up camera for those times when I’m stubborn and think I can carry everything into the house in one trip.  “Did I drop something important or just a water bottle?”
  17. Wine juice boxes.  Wait, they already have this one.
  18. To go back in time and meet Lucille Ball and Julia Child and all those other amazing women.
  19. World peace??*