Last night, I was treated to one of America’s favorite past-time: a punk-pop concert. I had the pleasure of witnessing all sorts of characters. And they weren’t even with the band!
You will see…
The Girl Who Insists on Flinging Her Arms Wildly in the Air. This girl is probably blissfully unaware of just how entertaining she is. Along with the arms, you’ll also be treated to foot-stomping, forceful hair-shaking, and lots of woo-ing. I’m all for you having a good time, but I’m pretty sure you just slapped the guy next to you who hasn’t washed his hair since the band went on hiatus in 2008.
Coinciding with the Girl Who Insists on Flinging Her Arms Wildly in the Air is the male equivalent. He’s a little more spasmodic, a little less drunk, and not as entertaining. Chances are, you won’t be able to place a bet on whether or not he’ll slap his significant other. Pro tip: you can bet on the girls; odds are you’ll some unintentional (and intentional) contact.
The Guy with the Knit Hat. Sir, do you realize it’s 80 degrees outside? I’m sure you do, as you’re wearing a t-shirt, shorts/rolled-up jeans, and flip flops. So please explain to me the knit slouchy hat. Have you, too, given up washing your hair?
The Girl/Guy with the Phone. This is probably the single most annoying person you could encounter. I’ll endure 1,000 Arm Flinging Girls if it means my eyes aren’t assaulted by bright flashes of someone’s phone every minute, checking the latest on Facebook and Instagram.
The Girls Who Talk the Whole Time. This usually coincides with the Girl with the Phone. I’m sorry someone is playing music over your conversation.